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thinking... [13 Jun 2004|10:28am]
[ mood | curious ]

good morning everyone... i woke up bright and early to go to church. no i am sitting here thinking again. i was thinking all last night after work. i couldnt sleep so i just started thinking about everything and anything. mainly just that i need to tell different and certain people things but i dont exactly know how to come across it. then i was trying to remember things from my past for some reason. i can barely remember anything from my childhood. maybe from having 2 or more concussions. but i dunno. i cant remember crap. ahhh. i hate it. i really want to remember different things. but yet i cant. then i want to tell thomas some things but dunno how to because i know how he will react. really stupified. or he will be a jerk about it just like he was when i told him i was abstinent. what is the big deal about that. just because i have morals and that is my way of life. no people it is not just because i am catholic. its not me and with my luck i would end up getting pregnant and i would lose everything. plus the fact, what is the point anyways. geez. then the whole partying getting drunk crap. sorry i dont do that either. geez. just because i know how to have fun without being drunk, doing drugs, partying or any other crap like that. why does everyone just flip out when they find out that im abstinent or anything else. geez. especially guys. i can really like a guy then they find out im abstinent and they just blow me off and never talk to me again. i hate it. why do guys have to be such jerks. i dont know of any abstinent guys. thats a fact. and girl wise (like maybe 2) thats it. everyone else just flips out. what the crap. maybe once i get to flagler there will be some decent guys there, but why am i kidding myself. there are no decent or "good" guys anywhere. so i officially GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!! i dunno what else to do anymore. also what is up with everyone. i havent talked to anyone since school got out. the only people i talk to are the people from work. i dunno what is up with everyone. hey guess what? my last paycheck was $33. YAY! it doesnt sound like a lot, but when you only get $2.13 an hour and you usually get like $5 average on your paycheck. $33 is A LOT. mainly because i worked lunch and got paid $5 something for a couple of hours. and then the fact of working like 40 hours last week. i deserve it. haha. anyways. im going to get ready for work now. im out.

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[13 Jun 2004|10:43am]
man i just found out that i have a blow in the ac hose in my car. there goes a couple hundred dollars down the drain. ahhhh. no more surfboard or anything else. ahhhhhhhh.....im going to go scream now. someone get me out of this place...... ahhhhhh.......

*a good guy
*people to understand me
*people to respect me and my way of life
*to go to the warped tour
*to have a better summer
*a better life
*a new surfboard
*to scream
*my mom to let me live
*to go surfing
*ac in my car
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[ viewing | June 13th, 2004 ]
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