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[27 Aug 2006|12:54am]

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boredom [21 Aug 2006|02:45pm]
haha and maddie i followed you haha oh geez
Your Hawaiian Name is:

Lokelani Iolana

Your Monster Profile

Evil Ogre

You Feast On: Starbucks

You Lurk Around In: Movie Theaters

You Especially Like to Torment: Emo Kids

You Are an Excellent Cook

You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning.
It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire...

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle.
But you may be ready in a couple of years.
You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment.
And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

i was a whale hahaha
Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Eagle

Animal You Were in a Past Life: Whale

You are active, a challenger, and optimistic.
Hard-working, you are always working towards a set goal.

You're 60% Irish

You're very Irish, and most likely from Ireland.
(And if you're not, you should be!)

You Are 84% Happy

It's unlikely that you know anyone happier than you.
You know how to be happy, no matter what life throws at you.

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Dani California by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

"She's a lover, baby, and a fighter
Shoulda seen it comin' when it got a little brighter
With a name like "Dani California"
Day was gonna come when I was gonna mourn ya
A little loaded she was stealin' another breath
I love my baby to death"

You Are a Fun Flirt

You just can't help yourself... you flirt with everyone you know.
Guys, girls, crushes, and friends. They're all victims to your charm.
You're into silly innuendos, sexy jokes, and playful touches.
You are a huge flirt, yet you never make anyone (too) uncomfortable!

You're a Wild Drunk

You can get enough drink. Seriously, you'll just go puke and start pounding them back again!
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ahh [07 Aug 2006|08:38pm]
I feel like shit. like everything is falling to pieces.
money sucks ass and the fucking gas companies suck more ass.
i have too many bills to pay a month and i definately dont make it at work. once school starts i really wont be making it. freaking car payment and insurance payment and gas. commuting to st auggie for school every day is going to kill me. started thinking about getting an apartment again.

started thinking that i should have kept my shitty apartment and not bought a new car. still be chilling in st auggie. wonder what it would be like then.
wish i still lived in st auggie so i could go unstress at the beach like i used to.
my friends always ditch me.
my family is starting to suck ass. my brother is a moron that listens to no one and gets brought home by the cops. im sick of the drama he causes in my family. my mom just gets on my ass all the time.

started looking at apartments and she just lectured me on how it would cost the same as gas. how i just need to stay here. everything will work out because she says so. whatever! she lectures that the government needs to do something about the gas before the government dies. i said the governmetn is already dead and broke. she doesnt believe me. whatever. i hate the fucking government and politics. its all a load of bullshit.

i love my boyfriend to death and i feel like shit for venting on him. i told him i was going to take off far away to somewhere cheap on the beach with no stupid government and never return. only i would bring him with me.

i hate stressing so much. i stress about money a lot. i stress about school. i stress about my freaking club that keeps failing. i stress about my psychotic family...and my so called friends. i stress about my boy for no reason.

i always say "don't worry, be happy" thats my saying. thats how i want to live my life. it never works out that way. i worry so much and theres nothing i can do about it. i just keep worrying. it sucks.

working sucks. school sucks. i want to drop out of school and work and just be a beach bum with a shack on the beach and go surfing every day. that would be the life for me.

i hate crying. i hate the feeling of crying. i hate how my eyes puff up and my nose runs away. i hate all of that.

i hate how i cant trust anyone in my family. my bro stills my money and belongings. who knows what the hell my parents do.

i feel like i save and save and save my money and it gets me absolutely no where

i cant eat anymore. i used to eat so much. if i work nights im not hungry by the time i get off work and i usually havent eaten all day. most of the time i eat breakfast. never eat lunch. rarely eat dinner. not hungry. feel like i never sleep either. but then wake up at like 10 and feel like ive wasted my day away. even though i just sit on here the majority of the time because i dont feel like driving all the way to the beach to surf then all the way back to work.

i hate how my boyfriend lives 100 miles away from me and it costs me a half a tank of gas to visit him. i wish we lived closer so i could see him more. and i could go see him and cuddle and just have my worries disappear. i wish we could sit on the beach and look at the stars while the waves crash. that would be nice right now. too bad im an hour from the beach and an extra atleast 30 minutes from him. ah!

i never make plans and no one seems to understand. i dont make plans becuase then they get ruined. i always get a call. oh i cant come. something came up. after i cancelled everything to chill with that person. then i just sit home...on the internet. doing nothing. because then theres absolutely nothing to do.

i miss running. running used to also be a stress relief for me. i cant run anymore. theres no where to run. middleburg isnt a safe place for someone to run. the beach is the best place to run and its too far away from me. when i get back from rhode island im going to wake up super early and go run then go surf all day. hopefully i will have the night off. so i can stay there all day. i may do that the day i get back and then stay with my babe that night. god i miss him.

maybe going to rhode island for 8 days will unstress me for a little...i hope. everything was good yesterday. then it freaking hit today that i dont make damn near enough money for all the freaking shit i have to pay for. freaking everythign adds up wayyyyyyyy too fast. why does everything have to be so freaking expensive. anything imaginable. and i dont even have any freaking bad habits that make me spend money. no drugs or smoking or alcohol or shit. just the beach. and i have to be so freaking far away from it.

then mom tries to convince me to work fridays during school. does she really expect me to go to school from 930am to 530 pm. drive an hour home and then work til like midninght. is she out of her fucking mind? seriously. theres no way in hell im doing that. no way in hell.

seems the only time i get on this thing is if i have to vent real bad. the only thing that seems happy about my life is my boy! hes the best thing ever and i dont know what id do without him. he keeps me sane in my times of insanity...which we all know happens way to often. i wish i could stop stressing so bad. i wish everything would just be smooth and happy again. hopefully some day it will be...hopefully.
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blahhhh [13 May 2006|08:10pm]
sooooo life sucks
moved away from home. then home. then away. now home again.
need to find a place to live
need a new car
need better friends, or friends at all.
boys suck.
i just want to find a decent guy. hmmm yeah dont think thats going to happen any time soon
a nice laid back surfer boy would be nice.
butttt whatever.
i dont want to live at home anymore.
driving an hour to and from work is starting to suck already
but it will give me an excuse to go surf more.
i really need to surf more
i wish there was more than a half a foot of surf though
i need to surf now
a midnight surf session would be nice
so much stress...no stress relief.
im going to the beach in the morning before work.
i need it more than anything now
the beach is my only stress relief. other than beating something/someone up
why does my life always have to be so stressful.
cant i just have one laid back day, month, year?
anyways...early morning...long day ahead.
good night all
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[15 Mar 2006|03:45pm]
So its been a while...
and life continues to suck.
Yeah i have some days or nights that arent bad. I can have some fun sometimes.
But all in all, life sucks.
No decent food.
The guy i want is so far away.
The ones that want me are asses or creeps beyond belief.
School is overwhelming me.
My club is as well.
Work is better than last semester, but is still work.
Securing the house is not fun.
I have so much to do in a very short amount of time (in the time period of about a month).
Too much crap to do.
This is all in a nut shell. Woo flippin woo!
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venting [20 Oct 2005|12:46am]
So I really hate everything right now.
I can't stand living here anymore. I have a couple of people I guess I could call my "friends."
But there is no one where I can be like hey let's go do something tonight. No one at all. No one here is like me at all. Absolutely no one. All everyone does around here is drink, party, and have sex. Sorry that I don't do any of the freaking above. Oh geez, sorry that I am not the normal/classic "college student". Too flippin' bad. Sorry that I have morals, standards, and a way of life that I have had forever. Sorry that I don't feel like getting drunk and then waking up the next day having slept with some random guy and not knowing what the crap happened the night before. Sorry I don't like walking up to random creepy old guys and being like hey lets be friends. Ew Gross. Sorry that I don't like getting drunk off my ass and making a complete fool out of myself. That's just not the way I go.
I wish I could surf more...even though I suck, that's my only love anymore.
Too bad I work all the flippin' time.
There's a guy...too bad nothing will EVER happen being he's the one every girl on campus is drooling over and I'm just like "hey ... how are you doing today?" I mean he could have any girl in the world, why the crap would he want me?
Everything sucks right now. I guess my life is going to continue to be devoted to school and work like it always has been and always will be. Whatever.
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RIP my father [11 Oct 2005|12:40am]
I walked into my human development class today and my teacher asked me if I had a death recently in the family. I said not that I knew of and asked why. He said in the paper there was a man with my last name and me as a survivor. I was floored and had a bad feeling. I got back to my room and went online. I was right in my belief...it was my father. I have not talked to him or had any contact with him in about 8 years. I know he was a horrible dad, but the fact that he is my father is a different story. When I read it and confirmed it, I died. My mom came and picked me up and took me home for a little. I went to see the grave. It was weird. Not seeing him in 10 years or so and then seeing his grave was miserable. I mean he is the other half of me...whether or not he was a good guy. He died on Sunday. I didn't find out until today at 2 or so, therefore I missed his funeral that was this morning. That saddens me as well. I wish I would have been able to go to it. I am going to have a mass said for him though. I took it the hardest in my family. He was a jerk to my bro and to my mom of course. He never really was to me while he was around. Not as much to me as the rest of my family. I was closer to him. So it hit me hard. I have so many mixed emotions right now. I don't know what to feel, what to think, what to do, or anything else. It's a horrible feeling. I have to go tomorrow and have his death records pulled because I am the only one in my family who is legally allowed to have it done. I want to know how he died. I don't know. Everything is just so crazy. I love my friends though, especially Cait. I don't know what I would do without her.

R.I.P Marzine "Wolf" Ables Jr. 1960-2005
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[12 Sep 2005|03:11pm]
Soooo there's this kid named Ryan who is totally amazingly awesome!
Too bad I have to wait til January to meet him when he moves from Pennsylvania to Flagler.
I can't wait! Wooooo!
He's so kewlio! Wooo!
Awww I love the kid to death! wooooo!!!
Flagler rocks!
I got a job at Columbia!
My Life is pretty darn awesome right now! Hahahaha.
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[07 Aug 2005|11:44pm]
haha man i never post in this thing anymore
wow craziness
so this summer has been amazing
i love it
although im sooooo excited about starting Flagler at the end of the month
woooo hoooo
its going to be amazing.
whelp the high schoolers went back to school today.
hope you all had fun while i slept!
alrighty thats all for now
thats my update! haha uh oh
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[02 Jul 2005|04:27pm]
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[10 Jun 2005|10:42pm]










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[08 Jun 2005|07:31pm]
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[02 Jun 2005|08:09pm]
Ok nevermind on the last entry. Guys are crazy. The current crush drives me crazy. Not the same as the last entry. I wish I was not as shy around this one. Bleh. I wish things would work out.
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[17 May 2005|02:39pm]
Sooo...He makes me laugh so very much. Oh my goodness. Haha. I can't wait to spend time with him. It will be AWESOME. Although he is only a junior, I think something may work. Hmmm...We still have sooooo much in common. Greatness. I was so giddy talking to him last night and so happy all day today thinking about him. Yay!!!!

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wow its finally here [16 May 2005|08:09pm]
sooooo today was my last day of high school. there are so many people that i am going to miss, but at the same time so many people that i will not miss. geez. anyways. tomorrow i may go to lunch with david or hang out and what not. hmm if he doesnt cancel on me again. geez. anyways. then i have to take my exit sheet to school. im going to the beach on wednesday. anyone wanna go? thursday is baccalaureatte. im excited. wanna hear ms mayers speech. then friday is the big day. senior breakfast then rehearsal. then mom and i are going to the beach and then to skuttlebutt's for lunch. so much fun. then finally to GRADUATION. pray it doesnt rain. stay safe everyone and if youre graduating, behave friday and what not. i love all of you.
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[12 May 2005|03:43pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Aaaaugh. I miss him so very much. A year and a half goes by and I just miss him more and more every day. Why did he have to have such an impact on my life, especially in this type of way...??

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ugh [27 Apr 2005|09:22pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Yeah so a lot has happened lately. I haven't been the happiest person lately. I thought I would be happy, but I'm not. Anyways. My heart and head are both confused. School is almost over thank goodness. Next wednesday is my ap spanish exam. then thursday is senior skip day. yay. next friday is the senior party too. the following week is a full week. then the week after that is exams and i only have to be there for monday. then i graduate on friday. i cant wait. anyways. im out.



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[22 Apr 2005|10:18pm]
Wow. I don't feel so well. First cry in a while. Wyatt and I had a long talk. Got things straightened out. Jenny was AWESOME in her play. She rocked. Not much else is going on. I think I am going to sleep now. ByeBye
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[15 Apr 2005|05:28pm]
Don't you hate when people are jealous so they start trying to ruin your life? Stupid biotches. Anyways. I could flippin care less. I laugh in your face. Stupid people. I only have like 4 weeks left with all of you and them I'm gone...away from you stupid people, but still with the one I love. Hahahahahahahaha lauging in your face.

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Prom... [10 Apr 2005|07:37am]
[ mood | tired ]

Prom was Awesome! Wyatt and I had a great time! Everyone there looked so pretty. Some people I had never seen dressed up were. Craziness.  I took lots and lots of pictures. Yay! Haha. Anyways. That was the only school dance I have ever had fun at. Now I am getting ready to go to church. What fun! ByeBye


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